How will you know for sure when you achieve SUCCESS?

You begin with youthful ambitions, and a vision about the difference you wanted to make in the world. I traded on my potential while I developed my knowledge and gathered experience – sometimes flying on empty fuel tanks.

I was so connected to my vision that I was fully attuned to lucky breaks – those almost incredible chance meetings, mentors entering on cue, opportunities at my door just when another challenge was required. I started gaining traction with some early achievements – and that’s how it works for many creative entrepreneurs and ambitious, driven women through their 20s.

THEN imperceptibly, I started moving the goal posts further forward – to keep me stretching, on my toes, creative, stimulated, developing, ambitious, determined to make an impact.

At the same time, life got richer in experiences – relationships changed or deepened, timing awareness crept in about children, old friendships developed in new ways, new friendships sparked from work connections.

GREAT! Success is on the horizon…

BUT, also imperceptibly, you find you never quite match up to your vision because, well, it keeps developing and growing and it’s up ahead. There is nothing wrong with that in principle – it is the ‘in practice’ we are concerned with here, because two things keep NOT happening:

1.  You rarely, if ever, stop and acknowledge how far you have come, what you have become, and how all that can play into your vision

2.  You never quite replenish your energy levels – and you say you to yourself ‘I can get away with it because I’m still young and strong’

In fact you start looking at things from the other end of the telescope and begin to notice an underlying sense of….hmmm what is it? Uncertainty? Unease?

• Your response is to Push On more urgently, and you start getting annoyed when the rest of your life does not keep up with your drive and initiatives.
• You also start noticing you have better strategies and solutions than the people you report to, and that is a block you were not expecting to have to deal with.

IF the growing dissatisfaction, irritation, even worry do not impact your self-confidence, they will certainly be impacting your relationships and your quality of life.

And IF ‘Push On’ keeps winning over ‘Time Out’, then the going will just get harder and burn-out becomes a real possibility.

Yes, I know you may feel that is unlikely, and I did not believe it either…but if you have continued reading up to this point, it is likely that these issues are resonating with you.

There is no ONE answer – but I have found my clients do astonishingly well when they give themselves either permission – or an order – to PAUSE and use their considerable COURAGE to look at how they want to define ‘achieving success’, through these four issues:

1.    never acknowledging how far you’ve come, what you’ve become and how all that could play into your vision

You wouldn’t dream of NOT researching, evaluating and consolidating your understanding about your latest project, and then using that knowledge as a springboard for overall project / company / client vision – and putting that on a loop until the project reached fruition, would you? YOU deserve, indeed require, the same approach – to recognise your Vision is a living thing that you need to nurture and evolve.

2.    getting away with never quite replenishing your energy levels

How smart is that, really? And how necessary is it, to say to yourself / your partner / your friends : ‘I just have to do xxx first’? Its not a question of feeling guilty towards others, it’s a decision to PUT YOUR NEEDS FIRST – your fundamental needs – not the need to get things done, deadlines met. And crucially, understanding that you will do far better work and make a more profound contribution once you do.

 3.   pushing on as the default mode when the rest of your life doesn’t keep up with your drive and initiatives

Superwoman runs on testosterone – women have about 16% of that of men. When ours runs out we switch to our adrenal glands ie adrenaline – the fastest way to deplete your energy for minimum gain, unless you really are saving your life. She has 3 sidekicks – Victim, Martyr and Bitch…do you recognise them? Start tracking what triggers each one in your day to day.

4.   outgrowing your apparent seniors

Now you’ve reflected on just how far you’ve come, your competencies, achievements, further talents emerging, connections built upon, impacting the business you are in and the people you serve, and your wider community of collaborators, colleagues, mentors

Now you are regularly replenishing your energy in multiple ways

and Now you have retired Superwoman and started working with other outstanding PowerTypes™ like Queen ( boundaries, vision ) Sorceress ( intuition, ‘luck’) Warrior (the great alternative to Superwoman ) and others…

YOU ARE READY to think creatively, compassionately and ambitiously about either working with or around the people you have outgrown as you go from strength to strength.

So, how will you know for sure when you achieve success? Perhaps by making a choice to live your success every day.

If the content of this article resonates, and you would like to explore how to shift your mindset to balance impact and energy as you make progress, message me for a complimentary Strategy Call on LinkedIn or email me at nancy@sparkstonecoaching.com